Our Hotwives

Are affair games uncommon among hotwifing couples? I'll define an affair game as a situation in which the husband consents to the wife simulating adultery. My wife has become quite fond of that style of play. We've explored a few variations of play on the same dynamic.

Interesting…I can see how that would fit well with the fantasy aspect of some couple’s play.

But for us, we’re all about transparency, consent, and everything being above board.

Whatever rocks one’s boat I suppose!

Parsifal wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 20, 2025 8:32 pm

Are affair games uncommon among hotwifing couples? I'll define an affair game as a situation in which the husband consents to the wife simulating adultery. My wife has become quite fond of that style of play. We've explored a few variations of play on the same dynamic.

I’m assuming that you may not know who she’s seeing or when or how often or where?

D+D wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 6:58 am

Parsifal wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 20, 2025 8:32 pm

Are affair games uncommon among hotwifing couples? I'll define an affair game as a situation in which the husband consents to the wife simulating adultery. My wife has become quite fond of that style of play. We've explored a few variations of play on the same dynamic.

I’m assuming that you may not know who she’s seeing or when or how often or where?

You assume right. Her alibis have to sound legit and hang together. Our understanding is that I won't go out of my way to surveil her, but also there will be a penalty if I happen to catch her. That adds realism and inventivizes her to cover her tracks.

I should add, however, that our [affair] games do have an expiration date or otherwise are designed to have an end point tied to some event, at the conclusion of which we schedule a long weekend sojourn at a luxury hotel where there's a tell-all, typically her reading to me a diary detailing the whole adventure. So in answer to the comments about transparency and consent, yes, that too is part of the game we play. It's not a game of don't ask, don't tell. It's certainly not real deceit, not a real affair, but rather an elaborate role play that does tap into aspects of the dynamic. Agree it's not for everyone and, I would suspect, a bit uncommon

Cute idea! Whenever she is out of your sight, you must be wondering, "Is she or isn't she? What is she up to right now?
Is she fellating a lover this very minute? Is someone fucking her?"

Exciting!

54321

54321 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 8:46 am

Cute idea! Whenever she is out of your sight, you must be wondering, "Is she or isn't she? What is she up to right now?
Is she fellating a lover this very minute? Is someone fucking her?"

Exciting!

54321

Stirring some mystery like that into our relationship adds to her allure with me, for sure

I assume Gala still finds time for the two, or is it three, lovers that you know about? She is a busy lady.

54321

54321 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 10:20 am

I assume Gala still finds time for the two, or is it three, lovers that you know about? She is a busy lady.

54321

Of course. Yes. Our relationship has lots of other dimensions with new ideas always in gestation.

Please tell us about some of these games you have played that your wife likes to do. Past affair games you have played to give us an idea of how this works.

Very interesting!

Thank you for sharing.

ddriver86 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 11:12 am

Please tell us about some of these games you have played that your wife likes to do. Past affair games you have played to give us an idea of how this works.

Very interesting!

Thank you for sharing.

Let me begin by crediting my source of inspiration, two books by Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, which can be purchased as a set from Amazon. Those books are the best guide I've read for understanding how the overfamiliarity that develops in many long term intimate relationships can smother the sense of mystery that we seek to recapture through affairs or open marital arrangements. New relationship energy comes from the heavy dose of strangeness we feel with new lovers. Add to that the taboo of lying and cheating. But put it all into a structure of trust and consent.

I've read a number of postings in this Forum about how some of the couples here have survived deceitful affairs and reconcile with the husband confessing his arousal over the wife’s actual infidelity. When I consider that dynamic in light of Esther Perel's writings on the paradox of familiarity and mystery in sexual relations, it dawned on me that I wanted my own wife to have an affair on me.

Don't play games. Encourage and support your wife to experience her sexual fantasy.

P
- Would it be fair of G to pretend to have an affair and just be doing something else entirely?

Long Lurker 34 wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 3:43 pm

P
- Would it be fair of G to pretend to have an affair and just be doing something else entirely?

No. Head fakes like that are allowed. What's prohibited is her telling me she's out with a regular when in fact she's meeting a secret lover.

Tank Turner wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 2:18 pm

Don't play games. Encourage and support your wife to experience her sexual fantasy.

Seems like this is the sexual fantasy. She has her fun (and sexual reward), and her attempt to keep it from Parsifal makes it fun for him (and he must also be receiving his version of a sexual reward).

Parsifal has thought deeply about all this, and I've learned a lot from reading his gems.

And I also respect and look forward to your posts, TT.

slenderfish wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 4:58 pm

Tank Turner wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 2:18 pm

Don't play games. Encourage and support your wife to experience her sexual fantasy.

Seems like this is the sexual fantasy. She has her fun (and sexual reward), and her attempt to keep it from Parsifal makes it fun for him (and he must also be receiving his version of a sexual reward).

She had a reward, her version. I have my own, my version. And we also have a common version. It does circle back to us and we keep it as a marital asset, ours jointly and indivisibly.

Really hadn't heard of that, and i do not think so, but strangely we have toyed with something similar to that where she would just do things but not tell me, at least for a while.

Janes Husband wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 21, 2025 6:12 pm

Really hadn't heard of that, and i do not think so, but strangely we have toyed with something similar to that where she would just do things but not tell me, at least for a while.

What kinds of things did she exercise liberty to do without you knowing? And what was the occasion for her revealing those things to you,?

So far just lunch dates, not actual sex. It's been hectic lately, maybe we'll push it further in the future.

This is a very hot idea. I wish I could do something like that but I would have to admit to myself that I wouldn't have the stomach for it.

Hi Parisfal,

I honestly doubt that my wife could keep a sexual secret from me.

Since the day I met her, we've always talked openly, honestly, and most especially nonjudgmentally about sex.

When my wife is buzzed or drunk and starts talking about her fuck-a-holic college days, she'll get in to graphic detail about fucking college boyfriends.

Tank Turner wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 23, 2025 9:04 am

Hi Parisfal,

I honestly doubt that my wife could keep a sexual secret from me.

Since the day I met her, we've always talked openly, honestly, and most especially nonjudgmentally about sex.

When my wife is buzzed or drunk and starts talking about her fuck-a-holic college days, she'll get in to graphic detail about fucking college boyfriends.

Tank -

Complete transparency is our default practice too. In the end, I do expect to learn all that happened.

Back to your initial post, I'm not sure when I use the word "game" it communicates what I mean. I don't mean "game" in the sense of a contest, but more an activity that proceeds according to a set of expectations. All marriages that are marriages proceed this way, whether we call the expectations rules, vows, mutual agreements, or understandings. Hotwifing as a concept implies that a woman is a wife, so the default position is the institution of marriage. What makes it "hot" for the wife is that the default vow of "forsaking all others" is relaxed and modified. The couple custom-designs that term of the marriage pact to allow for other experiences. We see on this site the vast spectrum of permutations in which couples redesign the basic template by tweaking that one vow.

The affair game is just another permutation of that. To play it right, however, within the marriage, there has to be a box in which secrecy is given room to play within a bigger structure of trust and transparency. In the end, it all must play out within the marriage, which admittedly makes it fundamentally different than a real affair. Hence, I tend to put the word [affair] in brackets when I speak of it as a marital game, because the way we do it is consensual and is something we both draw energy from. She's aroused by stealth, I, by mystery. But the space we create for those experiences closes periodically for us to share and collect profits jointly.

My wife went to the gym this morning and didn't get home til mid afternoon. I did start to wonder if today was a day she was betraying me. I cross examined her whereabouts. She had a plausible alibi for the whole time. She seemed amused when I suggested her "lower body workout" at the gym was a pun she intended.

Confused. Is she not fucking someone else or just the fantasy of ?

In the affair game we currently have going, the object is for her to keep me guessing. So yesterday I was guessing and today I still am. Whatever happened, she wanted sex with me last night. I much obliged. That could have been a signal that she'd betrayed me during the day, because cheating sex arouses her. Her orgasm, however, seemed too ragged to be anything other than her first orgasm of the day. Orgasms she has with me on reclaim, if she still has an orgasm left in her to give me, are always worn smooth and mellow by comparision. So probably nothing happened.

Love the forensic examination of evidence. You two have so much fun.
Do her lovers know they are bit players in your game and have a short lifespan?